Most days, my life feels like one giant to-do list. Pack lunches. Get the kids to school. Work. Kids Activities. Laundry. Grocery shopping. Pay the bills. Make dinner. Clean up the mess that somehow multiplies overnight. By the time my head finally hits the pillow, I realize I’ve barely had a single moment to breathe, let alone rest.
As a single mother of two young children, I know the constant pressure of feeling like everything depends on me. There have been days when I’ve cried quietly in the bathroom, overwhelmed by the weight of doing it all—alone. Add to that the struggle of keeping my faith consistent, and I often felt like I was failing on every front: as a mom, as a woman, and even as a believer.
But over time, I’ve learned something important: peace and self-love don’t magically appear once the to-do list is finished (spoiler: it never really is). They have to be cultivated, intentionally, in the middle of the mess. And it’s not selfish to prioritize them—it’s survival. It’s stewardship of the woman God created you to be.
Today, I want to share a few lessons I’ve learned (and am still learning) about cultivating peace and self-love while managing the never-ending responsibilities of motherhood.
- Acknowledge That Overwhelm Is Real
For the longest time, I tried to act like I had it all together. I’d put on a smile and tell people, “I’m fine,” when deep down I felt like I was drowning. I thought admitting I was overwhelmed meant I was weak. But I’ve come to realize the opposite is true—acknowledging it is the first step to healing.
Example: One evening, after an especially hard day at work followed by an evening of tantrums, I sat on the kitchen floor surrounded by dirty dishes and just said out loud: “This is too much for me.” Saying it didn’t magically make the mess disappear, but it reminded me I didn’t have to pretend. I could invite God into my reality, not the version of life I wished I had.
Encouragement: Give yourself permission to say, “This is hard.” Because it is. And in that honesty, God meets you.
- Stop Measuring Yourself Against the List
I used to think my worth was tied to how many checkboxes I could tick off. If I managed to keep the house clean, cook a homemade dinner, and keep up with the kids’ needs, I felt accomplished. But when I fell short, shame crept in.
Here’s the truth: the to-do list is never-ending. But you are not measured by it. You are not a failure because the laundry basket is full. You are not less of a mom because you ordered pizza instead of cooking. Your value comes from who you are, not what you do.
Practical Tip: At the end of each day, instead of focusing on what didn’t get done, write down three things you did accomplish—no matter how small. “I hugged my kids.” “I made it through the workday.” “I prayed, even if it was only a sentence.” That shift changes everything.
- Create Micro-Moments of Peace
When life feels overwhelming, the idea of self-care can feel impossible. I used to think it had to mean long baths or spa days, and with kids and bills, that just wasn’t realistic. But peace doesn’t have to come in big chunks of time—it can be cultivated in micro-moments.
Examples:
- Morning: Instead of scrolling on my phone, I whisper a quick prayer before getting out of bed: “Lord, guide me today.”
- Midday: I take 5 minutes in the car before picking up the kids to sit in silence and breathe deeply.
- Evening: After the kids go to sleep, I light a candle and write down one thing I’m grateful for.
These tiny practices don’t erase the chaos, but they create sacred pauses where my soul can breathe.
- Speak to Yourself With the Same Love You Give Your Children
I’ll be honest—I’m my harshest critic. I’ve said things to myself in frustration (“You’re failing. You’re not strong enough. Other moms do this better.”) that I’d never say to my kids. One day, I caught myself after snapping at my daughter and immediately thought, “You’re the worst mom.” But then I looked at her, still smiling at me, and realized—I’d never want her to talk to herself that way. So why was I?
Practical Exercise: Next time you catch yourself in negative self-talk, pause and reframe it. Instead of “I’m failing,” try: “I’m doing my best, and that’s enough.” Instead of “I can’t do this,” try: “I’m not alone—God is with me.”
Your words matter. Speak life to yourself the same way you speak life to your children.
- Anchor Your Heart in God’s Peace
There will always be laundry. There will always be bills. There will always be demands pulling on you. But peace comes when you remember you don’t carry it all alone. God never asked you to be superwoman. He asked you to abide in Him.
Example: When my son was sick and I was juggling doctor’s visits, work deadlines, and caring for my daughter, I felt like breaking. But one night, instead of spiraling, I read Philippians 4:6-7 out loud: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God… will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” That verse didn’t solve everything, but it grounded me. I remembered: peace isn’t found in circumstances—it’s found in Him.
Encouragement: Make prayer and Scripture part of your routine, even in small doses. It will shift your heart from chaos to calm.
Final Thoughts
If you’re reading this while staring at your own never-ending to-do list, I want you to know: you’re not failing. You’re not invisible. You are a woman doing holy, sacred work, even in the exhaustion of daily life.
Cultivating peace and self-love doesn’t mean your world has to be perfect. It means choosing to pause, choosing to speak kindly to yourself, and choosing to trust God with the pieces you can’t hold together.
The dishes can wait. The laundry can wait. But your peace, your mental health, and your spiritual well-being? They cannot.
Beyond the to-do list, there is a woman of worth. There is you. And you are more than enough.
