If I’m being honest, for years I measured my success by the world’s standards. Did I have enough money in my account? Was I climbing the career ladder? Was my house spotless, my kids dressed in matching outfits, and my life Instagram-worthy? By those standards, I constantly came up short.
As a single mother of two young children, most of my days feel like survival mode. I juggle bills, work, school drop-offs, meltdowns, endless laundry, and the aching loneliness of being the only adult in the house. On many nights, after the kids are asleep, I sit at the kitchen table with my head in my hands, whispering to God: “Am I really enough? Is this success?”
But here’s what I’ve learned, and am still learning, through faith: success isn’t about how much you achieve, own, or display. True success, in the Kingdom of God, looks completely different. It looks like peace in the storm. Joy in the ordinary. Faith that doesn’t crumble under pressure. And an abundant life that has nothing to do with circumstances and everything to do with Christ.
1.Letting Go of the World’s Scorecard
The world says success means having the perfect family, financial stability, a thriving career, and an impressive highlight reel. But as single mothers, we often feel like we’re playing a game where the rules are rigged against us.
Daily Struggle Example: I used to scroll through social media and feel crushed. Pictures of “complete” families on vacation, moms who seemed to effortlessly balance work and home, friends buying houses while I scraped to pay rent. A voice whispered: “You’re behind. You’ll never measure up.”
Then one day, while reading Matthew 6, I came across Jesus’ words: “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth… but store up for yourselves treasures in heaven.” (Matthew 6:19–20). It hit me—God isn’t keeping score the way the world does.
Kingdom Truth: Success is not measured by how your life compares to someone else’s. It’s measured by your obedience to God, your love for others, and your trust in Him.
2.Defining Abundance Through Faith
For years, I equated abundance with money or possessions. But abundance isn’t about excess—it’s about fullness. A fullness of peace, joy, and purpose that only comes from God.
Daily Struggle Example: There were months I didn’t know how I’d pay rent. I’d stress over overdue bills while feeding my kids boxed macaroni and cheese again. I felt like a failure. But even in those moments, God showed up—through a friend dropping off groceries, an unexpected check in the mail, or my children’s laughter filling our tiny apartment. That was abundance: not in material excess, but in experiencing God’s faithful provision.
Kingdom Truth: Abundance doesn’t mean a life free of struggle. It means knowing that even in the struggle, God’s presence and provision never run dry.
3.Shifting Your Definition of Success as a Mother
The world says a “successful mom” keeps her house spotless, raises high-achieving kids, and never loses her cool. If that’s the measure, then I fail almost daily.
Daily Struggle Example: One morning, I burned breakfast, my daughter refused to put on her shoes, and my son spilled juice all over the one clean shirt I had ironed for work. I lost my patience and snapped. In that moment, I felt anything but “successful.”
But later that night, while tucking my kids into bed, they both hugged me tight and said, “We love you, Mommy.” That was success—love and connection, not perfection.
Kingdom Truth: Success as a mother isn’t about creating a flawless image. It’s about modeling faith, resilience, and unconditional love for your children.
4.Pursuing Purpose Over Perfection
One of the most freeing shifts I made was asking: Am I chasing the world’s version of success, or God’s purpose for me?
Daily Struggle Example: I once turned down a promotion because it would have required longer hours and less time with my children. At first, I felt guilty—like I was holding myself back. But later, I realized that in protecting time with my kids, I was walking in the purpose God gave me as their mother. That choice was success, even if the world didn’t see it that way.
Kingdom Truth: Purpose is greater than perfection. Thriving in God’s will—even when it looks small to others—is true success.
5.Practical Steps to Cultivate a Kingdom Mindset of Success
Redefining success doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a daily practice of aligning your thoughts and choices with God’s truth. Here are a few ways I work at it:
- Start Your Day with God’s Word. Even if it’s just one verse, let Scripture be the lens you use to measure your worth and success.
- Keep a Gratitude Journal. Write down daily reminders of God’s provision—big or small. It shifts your focus from lack to abundance.
- Celebrate Small Wins. Did you make your kids laugh today? Did you pray in the middle of chaos? That’s Kingdom success.
- Pray for Perspective. Ask God to help you see yourself and your life through His eyes, not the world’s.
- Serve Where You Are. Abundance flows when you love and serve others with what you have, even if it’s little.
Final Encouragement
If you’ve ever felt like your life doesn’t measure up, hear me: you are not failing. You are not behind. You are not less-than.
Success in God’s Kingdom isn’t about how much you own, how picture-perfect your family looks, or how flawlessly you juggle your responsibilities. Success is about faithfulness. It’s about waking up each day, choosing love, clinging to hope, and trusting God in the middle of your circumstances.
An abundant life is available to you—not when everything is perfect, but right now, as you walk with Him. Your worth is not in your to-do list, your bank account, or your achievements. Your worth is in Christ. And in His eyes, you are already victorious.
So, mama, let go of the world’s scorecard. Lean into the Kingdom’s definition of abundance. Build a life not of striving, but of peace, joy, and faith. That is true success.
